What Happens After Valentine's Day?

Valentine’s Day has come and gone once again. The time where singleness is highlighted. The time when so many wish that they had that special someone to make them feel.... special.


I’ve been in relationships for the last five years and have never had a ‘Valentine’s Day’ date. Isn’t that something? I never had someone plan a Valentine’s Day date but I’ve had boyfriends for the last few years.

Last Valentine’s Day, my ex had a lunch date with a friend from class. I got a card and I think some flowers followed by the words, “Here you go.” I brushed it off and said, “Well he tried… He isn’t the most romantic person but at least I got something.. right?”


Before writing this, I actually tried to convince myself that there is no way that happened. There must be something I am just not remembering. I went back to my messages and pictures last year and... nothing. 

And it hit me,

You were in relationships but still felt so alone.

Why? There you were, wanting to be in a relationship so badly, you didn’t even realize how unhappy you were. Waiting on something magical to happen that will confirm all the fantasies you had about the person you’re with. And they never came true. 

Then I decided to really sit with myself and ask what the purpose of Valentine’s Day was. Was it a day to show your significant other how much you love them? What about the other people in our lives that love us? Do they get a day? Why is Valentine’s Day so focused on romantic relationships? Why shouldn’t it include all the relationships in our lives — the friendships, the relationship we have with our parents and even the one we have with ourselves? 

For so long, I imagined my Valentine’s Day to be filled with love, but all I received was disappointment because I was waiting on someone to make me feel special, to make me feel loved. I didn’t even consider giving that love I was so craving, to myself. 


However, this Valentine’s Day wasn’t really that difficult for me. Maybe because I was in an office for most of the day, and didn’t see the love celebration that was happening outside the walls. But, I wasn’t sad because for the first time in my life, self-love was the focus for this day. I did not allow one day to dictate whether I was happy or not, whether I was loved or not. Because I am loved by so many people around me. They’re there, they just don’t come in the form of a romantic relationship.


So what happens after Valentine’s Day? Whether you are single or not, whether it is Valentine’s Day or not, celebrate yourself. Do not wait on some made-up day to do that. Do the things that will make you feel good. You deserve be loved on all days of the year. Not just one. 

And for the singles on Valentine’s Day, look around and show the people you love and who love you, appreciation. Better yet, look in the mirror and show that person what love really looks like.